Stupid Story 03-31-05

When I called customer service, and the guy told me his name, by his reputation I knew I was going to have a pebkac entry. This guy is such an idiot, every time.

Person #1: The file is located in Documents and Settings, then the user's folder.
Person #2: I don't see the file there.
Person #1: It's in Documents and Settings, then the user's folder.
Person #2: And then what folder?
Person #1: It's in Documents and Settings, then the user's folder.
Person #2: Yeah, I am there. Then what folder do I go into?
Person #1: It's in Documents and Settings, then the user's folder.
Person #2: Yes, You told me that. I am there, the file is not. Which folder do I need to go into next?
Person #1: It's in Documents and Settings, then the user's folder.
Person #2: YES. I GOT THAT. Then where is it? In Application Folder, Local Settings, a Temp folder? Give me something.
Person #1: I don't know. Do a search for it.
Person #2: Ugh.... It shows me like 5 copies of the file in there. Which one do I want to delete?
Person #1: It's in Documents and Settings, then the user's folder.
Person #2: I just deleted them all, now it is no longer an issue.... ah crap, now the main program won't even start.
Person #1: That's why I told you, it's in Documents and Settings, then the user's folder.

It simply amazes me how people are actually paid to deliver this type of informed customer service.

Stupid Story 03-31-05

Email Out: We purchased our copier four months ago, and we never received our Z3 Camera despite many promises from various KMBS personnel. If receiving our equipment is a problem, we could skip the next several service payments.

Email Back: It came in two days ago and I was planning to see you early next week.

I had a feeling he might say something like that...

Stupid Story 03-30-05

It was getting later in the day, and I was concerned that I would not have anything new to post about. I should have had more faith in the pebkac community that surrounds me:

I get an email from someone at PcMall trying to solicite some sales. The pebkac came at the end of the email which included a copy of the original email that told this person to go find more sales. The original email ending with the following quote: "Let's Execute Flawlessly!"

Stupid Picture 03-30-05

My dog did this. She is not a particularly smart dog.

Stupid Story 03-29-05

Person #1: Would you speak with this client, they have a question.
Person #2: What's the question?
Person #1: I don't know. If you could just speak with them...
Person #2: No, I won't, not until I know what the question is. Likely, the question is for you, not me.
Person #1: Well, they are on hold, so let me put them on speaker phone.

While the client starts to ask the question...

Person #1: Oh wow, look at the time, I have to go to a meeting.

Person #2 is now left to deal with Person #1's client, asking a question, that has nothing to do with his department.

Stupid Story 03-29-05

The camera gets turned on, all the lighting is setup, and the item is placed on the table. Little more.... ah, just right. All that was left was to push the little silver button on top of the camera. Once this last step was completed, the flash went off, and was followed with "Ow!" Oh yeah, that's right right.... next time don't look directly into the lights.

Stupid Story 03-29-05

My Video Card is like 2 years old, and my system is about a year and a half. Now, given that it continues to run everything I throw at it really fast, why do people still need to buy faster and faster systems? I mean, I read that you can connect 3+ video cards together. For what?!?

Stupid Story 03-28-05

Person #1: Will this bitmapped type look funny in the final printed piece?
Person #2: Nope! The crappier it looks on screen, the better it looks on press.

Stupid Story 03-28-05

I see this 32" - 36" Task Chair online at OfficeMax for $30.00. I call ahead, and they have it in stock. I go down there and it seems to be no larger than 29" if it is lucky.... and it's wobbly no less. Can you say, false advertising?

Reader Submission 03-26-05

(We have stupidly large "Computing Centre " sign over door)
Person1: I need two copies of this house key and one copy of this car key.
Person2: I'm afraid I can't do that.
Person1: Why not??!
Person2: We repair computers in here, miss.

Stupid Story 03-26-05

Several years later, I still get people asking me what their password is. I have dozens of different names and passwords rolling around in my brain, and they can't handle one.

Funny Video 03-25-05

This would make for a great reality show. Truth

Stupid Commentary 03-25-05

If gas prices keep going up, soon, I will have to take a lein on my house, to pay for my gas, that I use to get to work, to pay for the lein on my house. Are the prices in all countries skyrocketing like America?

Stupid Story 03-24-05

The client sends in artwork that wasn't usable. So I told them to send in the original files. A few days later, they send in the same exact thing. I tell them to send in the original files. A few days later, they send in the same exact thing. Now sure, I undertstand where I can be a picky person, but how do I help someone who sends the same exact thing three times?

Reader Submission 03-24-05

Person 1: I need a USB cable for a printer.
Person 2: This is likely to be the one.
Person 1: No, no, thats not the one it has USB both ends.
Person 2: I'm pretty sure this is the cable you will need.
Person 1: ( As if talking to a small child )I dont think you understand me, I need USB both ends.
Person 2: *Finds double ended USB cable*

Person 1 pays and leaves. Then 1 hour later he returns.

Person 1: *Looks sheepish * Uh, i need the other cable please.

Stupid Story 03-23-05

I called tech support for this crappy software package. It went a little something like this:

Person #1: I was emailed this file as a patch. I tried to install it myself, but it isn't working properly, so I called for a walkthru.
Person #2: Sure, what is the name of the file you were sent?
Person #1: xxxx32.dll
Person #2: *sigh*..............*SIGH*
Person #1: That doesn't sound promising, what's wrong?
Person #2: Ugh... well, we gotta change like a bazillion files and it's a pain in the ass.....*SIGH*.... hold on...

So, he comes back, we go through some stuff and end up here:

Person #2: Ah crap..... they sent you the wrong version. I'll have to send you an update on CD first.
Person #1: Ok, fine. I was also sent a file named setup.zip and inside is a file named, appropriately enough, setup.exe
Person #2: Yeah, that's for the setup.

Oh thank goodness you were there for me after 10 minutes on hold. Not only do I get your charming personality, but your deductive skills were extraordinary. If only you worked for my company... if only...

Stupid Picture 03-23-05

In case your wondering, yes, I really took this picture. I don't think this monkey likes stupid humans either. Dance Monkey Dance

Rude People 03-22-05

Once, I had this REALLY sore neck. So, I am sitting at my desk with an Ice Pack on my shoulder and this person walks up to my desk and gives me one of those "kidding" shoves. After I screamed out in agony, I told them I was all messed up and that really hurt alot. The response was "Oh.................I have a question"

I bring this up because I have a camera in my office, and I prefer the bright flourecent lights off. Most people walk in ask if they can turn the lights on. Not this person though, she just walks right in and turns them on, darn near blinding me.

Rude, that's all I am saying. It's a habit with some people.

Stupid People 03-22-05

I hate it when people come into my office asking for help, then they are mean to me. Then they call me up asking for RAM chips or something, then tell me I am slow with support. Man, they haven't even SEEN slow yet.

Stupid Story 03-22-05

As the Blackberry nightmare comes to a close 6+ hours later, Verizon sent us to another company all together. This person fixed us up just fine. I know you will all be able to sleep well now.

Back to the stupid - We asked him if the Blackberry can open attachments, and he said that they could. The stupid part? We have to call Verizon again and specially request it. Apparently, it doesn't open them by default. Nice.

Stupid Picture 03-21-05

This falls under the "What in the world was he thinking this morning?!?" category.

Stupid Story 03-21-05

If you are following the saga, apparently we made it to Level 3 Tech Support on that Blackberry. At this point, I expect God-Like abilities. Perhaps mindreading, levetation or something cool like that.

Stupid Story 03-20-05

We went to the park yesterday with our German Shepherd and we start to walk down the path. Soon after, a car full of roudy kids and a mother came bouncing up the path playing with a new baby puppy the size of a mouse. When they came close enough, my wife hung back and told them to pick up the dog and quietly pass us because our dog will eat their dog and threaten her kids.

At this point, I would like to say that the only thing I hate more than stupid people doing stupid things, is stupid people ignoring common sence when you put hand it to them on a silver platter.

So as they pass us doing the same loud behaviour as before, my dog snarls at their dog (which was no bigger than my dogs nose), the kids, and the woman. As I held onto my dog with all my strength, she was shocked that any such thing could have happened.

Stupid Story 03-19-05

It was just like it came directly out of Monty Python -

Person #1: I was sent this e-mail with a Word document attached to it. When I open it, there isn't any real text, it's just these weird symbols and squares. I think I have a virus.

Person #2: You don't have a virus, it's just a temporary file that Word makes while a document is being edited. Normally it is hidden, but the person must have accidently sent that file instead of the actual document.

Person #1: I've never seen or heard of a temporary file before. I am sure this is a virus that they sent to me.

Person #2: It's not a virus. Look, just have them resend the file, It's just a temporary file they sent by mistake.

Person #1: I know this stuff, it's called a macro virus. You better run a scan on my system.

Person #2: No, it's not a virus. It's just a temp file. Have them resend it, and it will be fine.

Person #1 picks up the phone and calls. With all the confidence in the world says:

Person #1: You sent me the wrong file.... it was just a temp file.... a temporary file.... it's a file that Word makes when you edit a document.... well, when your in sales you have to know this stuff.

Stupid Story Pt. 2 03-18-05

So, to get this silly Blackberry to work, we have been bumped up to tech support Level *2*. What does that MEAN anyway? Level 2...are these people really any more competant than Level 1 workers? Apparently not... 4 hours later and the junk still doesn't work properly. Maybe if they direct our calls over to India....

Oh wait, sorry, the Incompetant Person part... So, we get Level 2 support and he starts the conversation with asking us the same basic questions we already answered for the Level 1 guy today, and the Level 1 girl yesterday. So, after 2 minutes of inane questioning he follows up with "Alright then. I see we have a few pages of notes, so i am going to read that before I help you." Well, thank goodness he chose to read those AFTER he asked us all those questions. I sure am glad that Level 2 support is on the case... with their keen eye for detail and all.

Stupid Story 03-18-05

The Blackberry Manual has to be one of the worst written documentation I have ever seen. It's like 10 pages talking about Exchange Servers, Enterprise Servers, and Desktop Redirectors. Never once does it tell you how to setup a simple Pop3 account. Well, technically it does. Somewehere burried in the middle is one paragraph titled "Setting up World Mail". What the hell is World Mail? Look, when the Network guy has to call Tech Support to enable email (the products main selling point), I think the booklet needs to be re-written. Oh yeah, and the enclosed CD is apparently good for testing inside a microwave since it seems to serve little other purpose than to add confusion.

Stupid Story 03-17-05

I never go to the bank anymore. Direct Deposit, ATM's at register checkouts, etc... So, I go to the bank to make a deposit for my wife. I walk in, and I am the next customer in line when suddenly (insert dramatic pause here) all the computer terminals display a pop-up message that reads "Abort, Retry, or Fail".

Stupid Picture 03-16-05

I had an email server shipped to my work. It sounded a little funny inside, so I opened it up. Funny how it still worked after it shipped this way.

Reader Submission 3-15-05

I work at a campus computer department; I was installing a program on a faculty computer when I noticed that his desktop was completely filled with Icons. After installing it he demanded I put a shortcut on his desktop. There was not room for one (He had to have it aligned to grid) so I asked him if I could either delete something, he said everything was necessary (which it wasn’t) and didn’t want any of it moved. So I finally ask him, then how am I going to fit this on your desktop. So with a neutral look on his face he states, “You’re the computer guy you figure it out.” I slammed my head off the desk and walked out.

Stupid Story 03-14-05

So, I go into Subway for the hundreth time. Day after day, month after month, and year after year I always say that I don't care what kind of bread is used. To change things up a little, I ask for Italian Herb bread. As if it were written in a script, he proceeds say "We are out of Italian herb Bread. Could you please pick something else?"

Anti-Stupid Story 03-13-05

I was in Lowes Hardware Store today waiting in one of two lines (Number 1 and Number 3), for about 5 minutes. When I finally made it to the front of the line, a new line opened up (number 2) between the two. I walked over and put my stuff on the counter. She rung it up and saw that I had a credit card. So while I was doing my card processing and signing, she opened up another register and took another shopper, juggling both customers. I was quite pleased to find another person capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time.

Stupid Picture 03-13-05

My house was purchased as a fixer-upper. So, the fact that half the outlets in the house look like this, doesn't really bother me. However, I am not sure which part bothers me more. The fact that previous owners actually used these outlets, or that my $300.00 an hour inspector didn't even mention them.

Stupid Story 03-12-05

Where I work, the dumbest person that I have ever met is teaching the new guy. I would like to have a moment of silence for the guy who doesn't even have a chance.

Stupid Story 03-12-05

Person #1: I remember when Bart Simposon used to say "Eat My Nuts!"... wait a minute...

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Stupid Picture 03-11-05

Nice Outfit.

Stupid Story 03-10-05

Person #1: I broke my keyboard. I wasn't going to tell you, but I can't type without my space bar.
Person #2: What did you do to break it?
Person #1: I took out all the keys so that I could clean it, but I couldn't get the space bar back in right. So when I forced it down, I broke the little plastic leg off.
Person #2: Nice...

Stupid Story 03-08-05

Person #1: This doesn't have any instructions with it, so what do you want me to do with it?
Person #2: I need to have a dieline made.
Person #1: But, didn't the client sign off on this last week?
Person #2: Yes, they did.
Person #1: So, then doesn't that mean the dieline was already done last week?
Person #2: Right.
Person #1: So........What do you want me to do with it then?
Person #2: I don't know.
Person #1: Well, if *YOU* don't know, how the hell am *I* supposed to know? Here, take it back, there isn't anything else for me to do on it.
Person #2: OK, then.
----5 Minutes Later Another Person Enters------
Person #3: I see this job on our list for today. What do you need done to it?
Person #2: I need to have a dieline made.

Stupid Picture 03-03-05

Stupid Story 03-02-05

Person #1: Will that be cash, credit, or debit?
Person #2: Debit, so that I can get $100.00 back.
Person #1: Sure, just swipe your card, and enter your pin number.
Person #2: ..... it only has an option for $10, $20 or $40.
Person #1: You can only get up to $40.00 cash back.
Person #2: >...<