Machine: You have reached John. I'm not here, leave a message.
Person #1: Lucy, this is Brenda, call me.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Stupid Story 09-25-05
Person #1: What is the best way back to the highway?
Person #2: Walk.
Person #1: Heh... funny.... but seriously....
Person #2: I don't know, do you know?
Person #3: Nope. There are cars all over... I would walk too.
Person #1: O..K... Generally speaking, from here, should I take a left or a right out of the parking lot?
Person #2: Don't matter. either way will lead back to a highway.
Person #1: Yeah... thanks for all you help.
This is why they work at CVS, and I don't. BTW - The highway entrance was on the next block over. Kinda hard to miss is you work and live right there, you know?
Person #2: Walk.
Person #1: Heh... funny.... but seriously....
Person #2: I don't know, do you know?
Person #3: Nope. There are cars all over... I would walk too.
Person #1: O..K... Generally speaking, from here, should I take a left or a right out of the parking lot?
Person #2: Don't matter. either way will lead back to a highway.
Person #1: Yeah... thanks for all you help.
This is why they work at CVS, and I don't. BTW - The highway entrance was on the next block over. Kinda hard to miss is you work and live right there, you know?
Stupid Story 09-25-05
Person 1: At least my kid is smarter. He is an accountant. Her kid is a bread delivery guy. My kid makes so much money, he runs circles around her kid.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Stupid Story 09-21-05
I walked through the lobby, and there were two kids (about 18) standing there with like Led Zeppelin T-Shirts and ripped jeans and a strong "give me another hit, dawg" slow paced accent. Oh, and don't forget the red eyes, too.
Person #1: Are you, like, hiring graphic artists for an internship.
Person #2: I wouldn't know. You would have to come back when everyone isn't at lunch.
Person #1: Oh...so....ugh... what do you guys do here, anyway?
Now, if they came in with a portfolio, collar shirt, and spoke clearly, maybe I would have sat down and given them some advice... dumb asses....
Person #1: Are you, like, hiring graphic artists for an internship.
Person #2: I wouldn't know. You would have to come back when everyone isn't at lunch.
Person #1: Oh...so....ugh... what do you guys do here, anyway?
Now, if they came in with a portfolio, collar shirt, and spoke clearly, maybe I would have sat down and given them some advice... dumb asses....
Stupid Story 09-21-05
There was a new girl at Subway today, so I opted to bust her balls..
Person #1: Why do half the food containers have lids, but the other half don't have them?
While I certainly expected the usual low-pay employee responce of "*=-Der-=*", her comback was was quite unexpected.
Person #2: The FDA mandates that all meat products are covered to extend the life expectancy, whereas the other topings, such as tomato and peppers, can last much longer with the constant exposure to air, moisture, etc.
Ok, so, as long as only do what the goverment insists on, then another victory for minimalism.
Person #1: Why do half the food containers have lids, but the other half don't have them?
While I certainly expected the usual low-pay employee responce of "*=-Der-=*", her comback was was quite unexpected.
Person #2: The FDA mandates that all meat products are covered to extend the life expectancy, whereas the other topings, such as tomato and peppers, can last much longer with the constant exposure to air, moisture, etc.
Ok, so, as long as only do what the goverment insists on, then another victory for minimalism.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Stupid Story 09-04-05
At work, we have a legitimate copy of Adobe CS 2 that we paid $500.00+ for. When I installed it, the serial number would not work to activate it online. So I called up and tech support, after 45 minutes, could not help me. They insisted that I jump through some hoops before they can issue me another serial number.
They send me to another department, and he has no idea why, and just wants to send me back to tech support. I tell him that not only did they send me to him, but the automated phone system put me through to him when I pushed the buttons saying my install wasn't working. In the end, I hung up on his for being a dumbass.
I had the same problem with Quark Express as well. Another $500.00+ program.
You know, the pirated copies of these programs don't have these kinds of hassles. You install it, maybe swap out a .dll file, and it works fine. When I tell tech support this, they never have much of a reply for it.
They send me to another department, and he has no idea why, and just wants to send me back to tech support. I tell him that not only did they send me to him, but the automated phone system put me through to him when I pushed the buttons saying my install wasn't working. In the end, I hung up on his for being a dumbass.
I had the same problem with Quark Express as well. Another $500.00+ program.
You know, the pirated copies of these programs don't have these kinds of hassles. You install it, maybe swap out a .dll file, and it works fine. When I tell tech support this, they never have much of a reply for it.
Stupid Story 09-04-05
The IT guy at my company, before me, had setup two servers. One was a Gateway/Firewall/DHCP Server. I can live with that, after all, if either of those three goes down, you can't access the internet anyway.
The second server supplied the following tasks: DNS, FTP, Email, Files, and archives. I had issues with this, because I had said that if this machine ever has a serious problem, we would not be able to access the internet, use the ftp, send or receive emails, access any of our current jobs, nor could we retreive any old jobs. Effectively, the company would come to a complete stop. As you can imaging, restarting this box durning normal business hours was not an option.
Two weeks ago, that machine went belly up... and it's a macintosh server.... good luck with figuring out how the damn thing even worked, right?
Very long story short, it took me 2 1/2 days (including overtime and saturday) but had opted to rebuild the network from scratch (like I had previously done for the rest of the systems). We now have an Email/FTP box, a file server box, and an internet related box. While 4 boxes would be best, this will do just fine. At least now, I can reboot one of them without taking the whole company with it. What a dumbass that other guy is.
The second server supplied the following tasks: DNS, FTP, Email, Files, and archives. I had issues with this, because I had said that if this machine ever has a serious problem, we would not be able to access the internet, use the ftp, send or receive emails, access any of our current jobs, nor could we retreive any old jobs. Effectively, the company would come to a complete stop. As you can imaging, restarting this box durning normal business hours was not an option.
Two weeks ago, that machine went belly up... and it's a macintosh server.... good luck with figuring out how the damn thing even worked, right?
Very long story short, it took me 2 1/2 days (including overtime and saturday) but had opted to rebuild the network from scratch (like I had previously done for the rest of the systems). We now have an Email/FTP box, a file server box, and an internet related box. While 4 boxes would be best, this will do just fine. At least now, I can reboot one of them without taking the whole company with it. What a dumbass that other guy is.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Spyware
A big part of my new business is removing spyware. My competition sells this service for $50.00. The funny thing is, I generally charge more than that just to install all the software I plan on using. So, if it takes me that long just to get setup (usually about an hour before actually doing anything.) I cannot even fathom what little work they actually do for $50.00. My best guess is, they run AdAware and call it clean... shit, AdAware is so bad, I don't even bother installing it unless I have to.
A good one is Spybot, mainly because it is free, but it only has 23,000 records it scans for. Another good one is Spyware Doctor. That one has about 33,000 records, finds stuff the others don't, but it's slow as dirt. The best one is SpySweeper, because it contains over 103,000 records. Sadly, it misses alot of stuff too. I find, that running all three seems to do the trick. In a pinch, I would then install AdAware, but that generally finds nothing worth finding, like cookies. Lastly, I install Zone Alarm if all else fails, because that will bring to my attention any traffic the stubborn bugger makes. Also thrown in the mix is HiJack This.
All in all, I charge about 3 times what my competition does, but I can safely make the guarantee that all the crap has been removed. People don't seem to mind paying, and noone has called me back because of return spyware troubles.... yet.
A good one is Spybot, mainly because it is free, but it only has 23,000 records it scans for. Another good one is Spyware Doctor. That one has about 33,000 records, finds stuff the others don't, but it's slow as dirt. The best one is SpySweeper, because it contains over 103,000 records. Sadly, it misses alot of stuff too. I find, that running all three seems to do the trick. In a pinch, I would then install AdAware, but that generally finds nothing worth finding, like cookies. Lastly, I install Zone Alarm if all else fails, because that will bring to my attention any traffic the stubborn bugger makes. Also thrown in the mix is HiJack This.
All in all, I charge about 3 times what my competition does, but I can safely make the guarantee that all the crap has been removed. People don't seem to mind paying, and noone has called me back because of return spyware troubles.... yet.
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