Stupid Story 07-01-05

I had a dispute with my oil company and they tried to screw me out of several hundred dollars. They gave me some office policy mumbo-jumbo. So, I did what any smart american would do.... I called my lawyer. For a nominal fee, he sent off a threatening letter. Three weeks later, I get a check for all the money they owed me, and then some. I wonder who else I can threaten to sue?

Stupid Story 06-30-05

On the front page of yesterday's Daily News was two headlines. One at the top, one at the bottom:

Top: A female Military Officer was killed on her 21st birthday in Iraq.

Bottom: George Bush held a conference to boost confidence in the US still being over in Iraq. He was quoted as saying "It's Worth It"

Stupid Hotel 06-29-05

I was quite impressed by the attention to detail in my hotel room. The Fung Shway really flowed through when I wanted to watch TV from the bed. You see, the room was twice the size of whats in the picture, and the whole other wall was empty. However, by setting the room up this way, they were able to effectively block the entrance as opposed to moving the TV and dresser across the room.

Stupid Hotel 06-29-05

I would like to thank the hotel for providing, free of charge, the refreshing luke-warm room temperature bottled water. Ahhh... that's the stuff of quality right there.

Stupid Picture 06-26-05

Don't blink, or you may miss the "HUGE TAG SALE" as you speed by doing 50mph.

Stupid Story 06-24-05

I was on a work computer that I was going to reinstall. So, I said to myself "What would happen if..." I went to a particular website and suddenly all the pop-ups started to appear, 5 at a time. Spyware starts showing up next to the clock, virus' overrun the system, and within 2 minutes, NT 2000 gives me the Blue Screen of Death, and goes into a constant reboot cycle. It is now completely useless.

I find it disturbing that a simple website can launch so much damage and destruction onto someones computer. It also bothers me that these site owners voluntarily rent out pop-up space to these types of things. Likely, they figure if your not protected, then you shouldn't be on the net to begin with.

Stupid Story 06-22-05

Yesterday, a kid that I manage calls in sick. While this royally sucks, I do my best to fill his position and get the work done as best as I can. Since he is the only person who knows how to do his important job, this put the whole company in a really bad place. (Remember, I only started there less than 2 months ago, so I never had the chance to fully learn what he does, past the basics).

With age, comes the wisdom to keep your damn mouth shut. In this story, the kid is only 22 and hasn't learned that yet. So, the day before he calls in sick, he goes around telling several people that he feels like he is being 'dumped' on with work. He also said that if he didn't come in, we would find out how valuable he really is. This, of course, gets back to management. So now, my boss and I are fuming at the arogance this kid has by thinking he is indispensible, and can hold the company by the balls.

Today, I made a note to start paying a little bit more attention to how he does his job. Oh yeah, and that raise I was going to get for him because I thought he deserved it? Yeah, well, he can forget about that.

Stupid Story 06-22-05

I work with a fast talking, always right, salesman. This whole conversation was one zing after another. Here is what I remember:

Salesman: See these guys here doing this installation? We just spent over Fifty Thousand Dollars installing a top of the line color matching system that will...

Customer: So, what your saying is that for years you have been charging us top dollar for a crappy proofing system.

Salesman: No,no, not at all. I have always given you an excellent rate.

Customer: Oh, so now your going to raise my prices to help pay for the system that you always said you already had...

Salesman: No, that's not what I ment...

Oh, man... that was priceless.

Stupid Story 06-22-05

I was waiting my turn at a 4-way intersection. Each person took their turn, and one by one, each car went. Then, like clockwork, all 5 cars (yeah, 5 of them) decided to all go at once. The way I figured it, if a lightning bolt hit, we could have gotten rid of 4 morons right then and there.

Stupid Story 06-21-05

We went to a restraunt, and it looked kinda busy, however there were plenty of empty tables. Please note that three people were up front greeting customers:

Person #1: Table for two.
Person #2: I am sorry, there is about a 45 minute wait.
Person #1: But... there are plenty of empty tables.
Person #2: I know sir, but the kitchen is very busy this evening.
Person #1: Well, why don't 2 of you go help in the kitchen then. It doesn't take 3 people to tell customers they have to wait.

We left. The blank stare on his face was more than enough for me.

Stupid Story 06-21-05

I ate in the hotel's restraunt. I was brought butter, but bread was never delivered. When I received my meal, the Fries were cold and soggy. I wonder how long it was left sitting there under the heat lamp? After the food was delivered, she never stopped long enough to ask if I needed anything. 5 Minutes later I was able to stop her for some ketchup and mayo... of course, it took another 5 to get my stuff delivered.She never returned to ask how my meal was. Her tip was about .65 because I couldn't leave her less without waiting some more.Was she busy? Not in my opinion. Was she pleasent? Not at all. Worst meal out in quite a while.

Stupidity - The Movie?

So, I watched it, and the point they are trying to make, is that noone has ever done a true study of stupidity before. Is it genetic, or trained? Basically, they spend 45 minutes interviewing people who talk in circles.

My definition of stupidity, is someone who consistantly fails to think ahead and mentally view the end result of their actions.Like, people who drive all over the road, cashiers who put dollars in your hand and then change on top, George Bush....

Reader Submission 06-14-05

I have a wireless laptop and a desktop. Every night about the same time (9ish or so) I'd be laying in bed on line and I'd lose the connection. I'd restart the modem, restart my computer, double check the desktop. Nothing worked. It would go in and out about that time every single night.

I called Comcast Cable to explain my situation to them. They check the lines. . . No problems. I get on line, get settled into bed. . . disconnected. I call back they check the lines they say there is NOTHING wrong with the connection that it must be "My computer" and they would send a technician out to my house free of charge to check things out.

Saturday comes. Two, TWO mind you, technicians come into my house. Check the computer. Check the lines. Go into my basement and pull out some wires to check them for breaks or disconnection. They find nothing. They both tell me that the problem is NOT in my house that it's the poles outside and they need to send another technician to check the connection at the pole.

I canceled the service and went with the only other option I have here. Wideopenwest. They are great so far. Anyways, this weekend I get this guy pounding on my front door. I answer, "I'm here with Comcast to disconnect your cable for an overdue account." I laughed in his face. "If you technicians would have done the job right in the first place. I wouldn't have had to switch companies!" Then he asked me for the cable box I returned months ago.He showed me some bill for $200 something. As of today, I am still getting that same bill. With interest and penalty on it.

Stupidity - The Movie?

I'll let you know how this was -
http://www.cbc.ca/roughcuts/feature_211004.html

Overheard at the Art Show 06-13-05

The amount of people who could not identify a cityscape of Boston kind of suprised me. The many people who correctly idetified a ship in Salem Harbor was quite amazing to me. The one woman who incorrectly identified Miami as New York City needed to be beaten with a blunt object. Mainly because she commented on the way I was able to capture the twin towers in such a unique light. (must have been that zoom lenz, eh?)

Overheard at the Art Show 06-13-05

On the first day, I easily had about 30 - 50 different people ask me where I took this picture of a tree. So, I politely said that it was in Florida, The Tree of Life at Disney's Animal Kingdom. By the end of the day it was just annoying.

Next day, the story changed a little bit. It seemed that I now worked for National Geographic, and the tree could be found in Africa. All the carvings of the differnt animals on the outside bark were hand chiseled by little pigmy children. Sadly, the tree was no longer there because Disney relocated it, cut a hole through the inside, and put in a movie theater.

Oh come on.... I was bored stupid for 2 days. What do you want from me?

Overheard at the Art Show 06-13-05

Person #1: What do you use to paint these paintings with?
Person #2: A Paintbrush.

On The Road 06-09-05

So, like I said, I am at a training thing for work. I would have posted sooner, but the hotel wants an extra $9.95 per night for internet access. What a ripoff. While I would get it if I really needed it, but I am quite busy with my side project, comming up this weekend. I had not mentioned I am in an artshow up i Pittsfield, MA. If you want to see some of my work, go to www.myphotography.us and look around, primarily at the section Echoes, which is my book.

So, you want a stupid story eh? Ok then, at the hotel, they have a bar. In the bar, they have two dart boards. Unforutnately, they only have two darts, as well.

Stupid Story 06-06-05

I went into CompUSA yesterday. Even though I did not make any eye contact, I still had like 7-10 kids ask me if they could help me. It's like, they assume I am an idiot and I can't possibly find where they keep all the keyboards. I swear... one of these days I am going to take one of these kids on a ride "No, no no... not that kind of keyboard... I want the ones with the two buttons...". or maybe I'll ask them for a liquid cooled floppy adapter or something.

At the register, I am greeted with a a 15" LCD display that is being suspended over the counter at eye level. This means the friggin' thing is right in my face with some huge assed letters and numbers. Glad they think I am blind, too.

Lastly, I am treated like a criminal on the way out when they give me the see-through bag and get my receipt punched. Maybe next time when they ask me if they can help, I can ask them to help me steal an Ipod. Not kiddingly either, being dead serious. I couldtalk him into putting it into his pants and escorting me out to my car.

Away For The Week

I have to go on a business trip for a full week. If I have internet in my hotel, I will likely post, but I don't know. So, if the five of you could remember to come back in a week, that would be great, thanks.

Stupid Picture 06-05-05

My New Printer comes with several useful features. Two of them are a "Paper Saving" checkbox, and a "Fast Print" checkbox. This way, when I want, I can leave them both unchecked and I can have it waste paper while it prints really, really slow.

On My Vacation 06-04-05

We randomly picked a location to visit, and randomly picked a day to go. As luck would have it, the local college was having graduation and every single hotel in the area was booked solid. We ended up staying at a shithole where we didn't even want to sit on the toilet.

On My Vacation 06-04-05

I had some extra junk keys on my keychain for some time, so I left them on the table at a hotel. You don't think they ever called to let me know I left my keys behind, do you?

Stupid Story 06-04-05

All the Office stores now have the "Ink in stock, Guaranteed" slogan. So, I went into Staples today and was staring at the wall of ink. On of the kids came over and asked if he could help. I told him the model number and he started looking (as if he would have any better luck). Someone else came over, then the three of us started looking. I guess the first kid gave up, because he just walked away. The guy finally found my ink at the bottom somewhere. He hands me one cartridge, and I say Thank you. Then, I take a second cartridge from the rack, then a third, then a fouth.

I asked if they had anymore, and he said no. How many did I need? I told him that i needed more than four, and it was not in stock... guaranteed.

(Actually, I needed five, so I have to stop somewhere else.)

Stupid Story 6-1-05

Seen on Dell Website:

FREE UPGRADE! 512MB, 400MHz DDR (2x256) for the price of 256MB [add $34 or $1/month1] Dell Recommended