Stupid Story 04-30-06

Person #1: How long did it take?
Person #2: 2 Hours and 75 minutes.
Person #1: ...umm...yeah.... how long is that?
Person #2: Almost 3 hours.

Stupid Story 04-30-06

Person #1: What is 32+32?
Person #2: 74
Person #1: Oh, ever so close...

Stupid Story 04-27-06

Person #1 (putting away dishes): Where does this bowl go?
Person #2: You don't know where that bowl goes?!?
Person #1: No, you moved stuff around.
Person #2: It goes in the same place it's gone for two years now. It just doesn't go where you want it to go.

Stupid Story 04-19-06

Person #1: Driving to Mexico is far. That's like driving to the other side of the world. That's where California is.

Stupid Story 04-13-06

Person #1: I'm pretty sure the average time for sex is 7 minutes.
Person #2: 7 mins is def not long enough. Anything less than an hour isn't good.
Person #3: Does that include dinner and the drive home?

Stupid Story 04-09-06

Person #1: I had left my tripod in the car, so I had to go back and get it.
Person #2: I haven't used a tripod since Geography class.
Person #1: ...Blank Stare...
Person #2: C'mon... then what did we use in Geography class?
Person #1 ... a map...
Person #2: No, stop. We used a tripod didn't we?
Person #1: No, Geography used a map. Your thinking of Geometry.
Person #2: Yeah, Geometry! What's that thing we used?
Person #1: This is so going on the website... you do realize that... right?
Person #2: Stop making fun of me and help me! What was that thing called?
Person #1: It was a Protractor. Not a Tripod. One measures angles, the other holds a camera. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Person #2: No breakfast for you. Your mean.

Stupid Story 04-08-06

I don't normally notice this kinda stuff, but this weeks episode of Smallville was so filled with problems, it was hard NOT to notice:

Lana uses her Student ID to get into the Medical lab after hours. Not only would I doubt her History Major ID would let her into the Med Lab After Hours, but when she used the ID card, she was holding onto the black strip using it backwards.

Mid-Day, Clark is wearing a red jacket with a blue shirt. A few hours later, he is wearing a blue jacket with a red shirt. A few minutes later, he has on a blue jacket with a blue shirt. Lastly, a few days later, he is wearing the same blue jacket and same blue shirt.

Honestly, I don't think they are even trying anymore....

New WebSite is Coming!

The new website is just moments away! It's Freakin' Awesome! Keep hitting the Refresh button and be the first to see it! Yup... any second now.....

Stupid Picture 04-05-06

This just goes to prove that you can patent anything, and that we are willing to sue anyone over anything. This has to be one of the most assinine things I have heard all year.

Netflix on Tuesday sued rival Blockbuster for patent infringement, asking a federal judge in Northern California to shut down Blockbuster's 18-month-old online rental service and award Netflix damages, according to a copy of the filing.

Netflix, which was founded in 1999, holds two U.S. patents for its business methodology, which calls for subscribers to pay a monthly fee to select and rent DVDs from the company's Web site and to maintain a list of titles telling Netflix in which order to ship the films, according to the patents, which were included as exhibits in the lawsuit.

Stupid Story 04-03-06

Forum Post #1: You could always have an intro page that gives users a link to use a modern day BBS.

This is being posted because "The Modern Day BBS" died out back in 1998. Honestly, I have missed it ever since.

Stupid Story 04-03-06

Forum Post #1: We have recently purchased the infamous SherpaMatic double sided
proofer, and we are experiencing problems on a daily basis. Confidence is slowly being eroded away.

Forum Post #2: We are looking for a SherpaMatic to augment our current installation. Please contact me off forum if you have one available.

Hey! I know someone who may have a unit available....

Stupid Story 04-02-06

Person #1: Does 1/3 cup and 1/3 cup equal 2/3 cup?

Stupid Story 03-27-06

Person #1: I am going to retire in 56 months.
Person #2: 56 months? That's less than a year!

Stupid Story 03-21-06

Not my usual stupid exchance, but I found it amusing anyway. This is an email exchange from someone who was offering me to bid on a domian name similar to one I already have:

Person #1: I am the owner of www.Simplycomputers.com and am interested in selling it I was wondering who in your company I should speak to about this. Please forward this email to them or let me know their email and I will make contact myself thank you.

Person #2: While I am interested, I am a very small localized company without any real financial funding. So, I would only be able to offer a small amount for it.

Person #1: Well make your best offer I have several Simply Computers making offers.

Person #2: $100.00 ...did I win?

Person #1: I am sorry the highest offer I have had is $5000 Sorry

Person #2: Damn... I knew I should have offered $110.00

Stupid Picture 03-16-06

This is from a package currently being shippied to me via FedEx



For those who don't know, Wallingford is about 30 miles north of Stratford. I have no idea why they couldn't find me. I was right there. Duh...

WTF?!? 03-08-06

I haven't posted in a month and a half? Oh man, am I lazy. Anybody still left out there? Actually, I am busy pulling all of my websites together to host them from my own computer. This includes moving this site from Blogger onto my own server. Anyway, I'll be back. For those who actually bothered to show up, I'll throw this one at you. Sometimes it doesn't take more than one word to show someones true stupidity. This happened last month in New Jersey:

Person #1: Excuse me, do you have a smoking section?
Person #2: Why?

Why do you friggin' think? As if that wasn't bad enough, when #1 blankly walked away, #2 rolled her eyes as if #1 was the dumb one.

Stupid Picture 01-31-06

This is from MSN Alerts. They have a pulldown menu asking what region I was from.



No hablamos inglés aquí en América.

Stupid Story 01-29-06

Person #1: I like 18 year olds... better yet, make her 20. That way she would have more experience.
Person #2: Yeah, now-a-days, by 20, they have lots of experience. That's why I prefer 14 year olds.

Stupid Story 01-29-06

Woman #1 - Well, she was really nice.
Woman #2 - Yeah, she was a M.I.L.F.

Stupid Story 01-19-06

Person #1: I want to know if I can use this mouse on my computer.
Person #2: Just look on the plug at the end of the mouse, and see if it matches the plug on the box.
Person #1: I don't still have the original box.
Person #2: ....back of the computer box, not the shipping box.

Stupid Story 01-19-06

Wish I had my camera phone with me this morning (See next post about that whole mess), so it won't have the same impact a picture would have. BUT, I'll try and explain it. I saw a kid riding down the street on a bike with two front tires. They were pointing out, away from eachother. He was riding on one tire, then his balance shifted, and he was riding on the other tire. It was like he never learned to ride a bike, but didn't want to use training wheels. Sorry... funny picture, lame post.

Stupid Story 01-19-06

Two weeks ago I lost my phone, then someone stole it. They placed two calls on it before I reported it stolen about 5 hours later. I was willing enough to let the matter drop... until tonight. You see, I had received a phone call on my wife's phone from someone who said they were calling from Sprint, and there was a discrepancy with my plan. They then asked me to verify my identity by giving them my password or social security number. Of course, I said no. She said that it's not a problem, and all I had to do was call Sprint back at 866-360-2159 before they went home for the night at 8pm.

I proceeded to call Sprint at *2 so I knew I was calling them directly and told the operator what happened. Of course he said they would never have called about something like that. So I told him I had a stolen phone and I believe they were trying to access my account so It could be reactivated and taken off the stolen phone list. As it turns out, while I was on the phone with him, someone else called Sprint saying they were me, but they didn't know the information to access my account, so they were unsuccessful. I told the operator to put my account under lock and key, and that I would not be changing my plan, and not to let anyone access or modify it.

As for me, I plan on calling 866-360-2159 around 3am everynight... just to say "Hi".

Ok, so you read this far, your feeling bad about my situation, but you know I can't post on here without something stupid to tell you, right? Right.

So, I called the cops where I lost the phone, which was about an hour away from me. I figured I would give my info over the phone just in case something were to ever really happen like credit fraud or something with my bank account.Anyway, you know what he says? I have to come in and file a report. I told him I was nowhere near him, nor was I planning on going back down there, so he says he can't help me. Fucking nice, ain't it? That's why people can get away with anything these days.

Stupid Story 01-17-06

I was looking to buy a new camera, and I come to find out that one company owns like 15+ different website aliases. Unfortunately, they all seemed to end with the same type of sad story. While slightly off topic, and having nothing to do with me, I still thought you may enjoy it, and be warned by it:

"I again called Royal Camera and asked to speak with a supervisor. I was told that the supervisor was in a meeting and that he would call me back in 20 minutes. 45 minutes later, I called and was transferred to a man who identified himself as Ronnie. I explained the situation and the inconsistencies to him. He went over the order with me. He stated the items and the cost as being $4759.92 plus shipping. I stated that I thought $200 for shipping, in today's market, was high. He became rude and stated that if I could get it somewhere else to try. I asked him why the salesman had stated that the package lenses were Nikon lenses when they were not. He said, "I don't know, why did he?". I asked him why he was acting like a jerk and treating a customer this way. He said, "Because you're a motherfucker!". I asked to speak with his supervisor. He said, “I’m the owner, you stupid motherfucker.". I told him I didn't want to argue with him, I just wanted the things I ordered, at the prices quoted with fair shipping charges. He said, "You're too stupid a motherfucker for this camera. You don't listen. I wouldn't sell you this camera if you begged me.". And, he hung up.

I called back and was transferred to Ronnie. I stated that I wanted to make sure my credit card wasn't charged. He said, " You’re too stupid to know if I did.". I reiterated that I was canceling the order, and my card was not to be charged. Ronnie eventually stated that the order was canceled and to never order from him again. I stated that I felt he was discriminating against me because I caught his company lying about their products and prices. He said, "I can discriminate if I want, you motherfucker.". I ended the call.

Stupid Story 01-15-06

Person #1: I didn't know white people were called Honkys. I thought... oh wait... black people are Homies.

Stupid Story 01-10-06

Person #1: I just changed the light bulbs out back. They suck. We are changing them all the time. We should buy GE bulbs because they last the longest. These crappy ones are made by.... er... GE...

Stupid Picture 01-05-06

This one is kinda hard to see, but trust me, it's funny as hell. It's me taking a picture, of the tourists taking a picture, of the lighthouse that they can't see, because of the fog.

Stupid Picture 01-05-06

The Thing That Should Not Be.

Stupid Picture 01-05-06

The most awsome car ever.

Stupid Picture 01-05-06

The second most awsome car ever.

Stupid Story 01-02-06

Person #1: Dad, can I buy this toy?
Person #2: As long as it doesn't involve swords or guns.

Why? Is this a problem?

Stupid Story 01-02-06

Person #1: What's Canada?
Person #2: You SO didn't just ask me that...

Stupid Story 01-02-06

Overheard at Target:
Person #1: Oh, they have Tea Kettles. We need a new one.
Person #2: What's a Tea Kettle?

Now, sure, that would normally be enough to get posted, but the reply was classic.
Person #1: You put Tea in it, and it.... Kettles it.