Stupid Story 08-29-05

Person #1: No, I don't want to move to Key Largo.
Person #2: Why not?
Person #1: Because I don't want to live in a foreign country.

Stupid Story 08-27-05

A guy comes into the store with his computer. He goes on about how his computer was broke, and the other store (competition) didn't finish fixing it. He needed us to reinstall his Windows XP operating system for him. He hands over two homemade disks. One was labeled Windows XP Pro, and he claimed that he has the original, but did not want it damaged by us, so he made a backup copy. Ok, I am willing to buy that story right up to the point where he hands me the serial number he wants me to use. It starts with "FCKGW", which I am sure you are all familiar with, right? Now it starts to make sense why the other store would not finish fixing it.

Oh yeah, and the second disk? It was labeled "Keys for Windows XP".

Diagnostic Case

I was thinking, what we could use is a case that has a flip-top with retractable wires, plugs and adapters in it. This way, if you want to test a customers Hard Drive, you don't need to open (or keep open) your case. Everything normally internal, would have an external connection... with plenty of cable length for it, too.

Stupid Story 08-27-05

How I Charge
$195.00 - 3 hours for diagnostics and repairs
$75.00 - Purchased Software
$16.20 - Tax
$286.20 - Total

After Customer Complains
$100.00 - 1.5 hours for diagnostics and repairs
$75.00 - Purchased Software
$175.00 - Total

How I Should Have Charged
$1040.00 - 16 hours wasted running same useless anti-spyware software
$5.00 - After a moment of brilliance, devise way to trick spyware
$60.00 - Spend rest of hour re-running more tests
$65.00 - Stuck in morning traffic, twice, to return shitty computer
$25.00 - Listening to you complain on phone about how much it cost
$25.00 - Making my partner listen to you complain as well
$100.00 - Extra gas, electricity, and misc crap it cost me
$75.00 - Purchased Software that didn't work for shit anyway
$83.70 - Tax
$1478.70- Total

In case you were wondering, after splitting the money with my partner, I made a whopping $2.85 per hour to fix this cunts computer. As you can see, I had actually saved her money. What can I say, running these tests takes time. It wasn't my faunt that 7+ programs could not whipe the damn thing off the computer. You know, I am such a bitter, vindictive fuck, I am tempted to send her that bill. It's not like she will ever come back to us again anyway.

Stupid Story 08-24-05

I'm sorry, but if you are going to have someone repair your computer, the least you can do is TRY and hide your personal stuff. "I was laying on my belly, that's when you slid into me. When we made love that night, I knew we were soulmates." Man, I had the hardest time standing there getting paid while she was bent over the table writing me the check. I couldn't help but think about soulmating her. Heh...

Stupid Story 08-22-05

"Writer Anthony Spinner is suing ABC and Touchstone Television over the series LOST for allegedly taking his concept for a TV show that he worked on for Sid and Marty Krofft Productions. Spinner claims he was hired in 1977 to write, develop and produce a show about a group of airplane crash survivors who struggle to survive in a jungle where they encounter strange creatures and dangerous characters."

Oh, Pul-EEZE. Every idea that could have EVER be created already has been. Every bad idea has already been knocked off and done right. I mean, shit, you guys ever see the Belkin Nostromo Keyboard Controller they sell for $50? Well, a year before that product hit the market, I not only designed the same damn thing, but marketed it myself and had my own product that I sold. In fact, I was working on my controller at the same time as someone else. My point is, which one of us deserves to sue first? I mean, fuck, all three of us made the same damn thing, and belkin made it better and cheaper. Good for them... I still have one sitting on my desk, I bought it for $30. Hmm... maybe I should sue after all...

Stupid Story 08-12-05

I noticed at work that they were packaging a huge assortment of BetaMax tapes. I didn't think they made those players for the past 20+ years.

New Nvidia XFX 6600GT

After 2 years with the same video card, I finally broke down and bought myself a new one. I was so happy.

R.I.P. Nvidia XFX 6600GT

Lasted 3 reboots, and now all I get are colored blocks on the screen at boot, then it hangs while loading Windows. So much for that....