Stupid Story 07-31-05

I was at work on Saturday when this buzzing started. I looked around, and nobody was moving. I asked if that was the fire alarm, and two people said yes. I asked one of them to get up and check. If they didn't come back alive, I was going to go out the other way. He comes back, and confirms it was the fire alarm. I went out back to see what was going on, and I was told that a box had tipped over and set it off. Ok, so we have to wait for the fire department to come and reset it.

20 minutes later, noone had come. I called the fire department myself, and I got a recording telling me to leave a message. Alternatively, I could call the fire marshall and it gave his number. So I called it. If you couldn't see this coming yet, I was greeted to the same exact recording.

I notice out the window a fire truck driving by. Finally, I thought, they were going to turn this damn thing off.... the truck drove right by us and went down the street.

After 30 minutes, the alarm stopped on its own, and noone ever came to check on us. Nice.

Stupid Story 07-20-05

I was in Subway getting some lunch. A guy comes in, looks at the menu for a minute, then leaves. This left me perplexed because obviously he was hungry enough to stop, get out of his car, and walk inside. Once there, it was as if he had no idea what could possibly be on the menu. This would be as if you went into Blockbuster and was disappointed to find that they didn't sell dirt bikes.

Question #2

Why is it, that when a tech guy can't solve a problem, the first thing they do is blame "something" on the network.... which they don't support? I had two different system glitches, and both tech guys blamed my network. I actually went off on the second guy for passing the buck and insited he fix the problem. Of course, it turned out to be his product.

Question

Why is it, that if I want a processor which involves thousands of hours to produce, it can only cost like $50. However, if I want a stupid keyboard, it cost $80+ and comes with a mouse?

Today's Cell Phones

I bought myself one of those new Multimedia phones that do everything under the sun. After I get it, I find out they want to charge me like $15 a month extra to email the pictures I take, to my computer. They want to charge extra for internet access. They want to charge extra for each and every ringtone/wallpaper/animation I want to download. Not to mention the extra charge to watch TV on the damn thing.

So, I bought myself an $18 USB cable that plugs right into my computer and it lets me copy pictures/ringtones/wallpapers/phonebook/calendar/whateverthefuckIwant with a free internet connection for my laptop to boot. Sprint can blow me.

Anyone know of any REALLY free ringtone/wallpaper websites? When you google it, all you get is more pay-to-download crap. There has to be some nice underground websites around somewhere.

No Time

I never have time to post anymore. My job has me working 13+ hours every darn day. This Sucks. Hey, wanna hear strange? I get pulled into the bosses office (again) today, and he hands me a $100 bill, and tells me to go have a nice dinner with my wife. All I could think about was that movie, The Firm. So, I did what anyone would do... I took my wife to McDonald's, then I went out to buy beer, porn, and spend an hour at the strip bar. (ba-doom-tis)

A salesman at work got pulled into the owners office to be talked to about his shitty attitude. That was pretty funny.

I saw an email from one of our clients. It read "Lately, you guys suck. Where is my proof? Blow Me, Bill." That was hysterical. I can't believe some of the crap that goes on behind closed doors.

Darth Vader

I just came across http://darthside.blogspot.com/ and while I found the writing well done, I can't for the life of me understand why people care about Vader. I mean, for 6 movies, he is hyped as being the do-all and end-all. he was supposed to 'bring balance to the force' and blah blah blah.... In case these people hadden't notice, this character did absolutely nothing at all during the entire time he was on screen.

The first movie he whined about being a slave. the second movie he whined about not being a jedi master. The third he whined about Padme. The fourth he wanted everyone to join him. The fifth film he finally had a galactic purpose in life..... find Han Solo. In the last one, his son kicked his ass.

If he was to bring "balance", how come there were dozens of Jedi, but only 4 bad guys seen? At the end of movie Six, all are celebrating. Guess no other Sith left to kill. Good thing... only two jedi left as well... but no Jedi girlfriend for Luke to make a baby with. If he did it with Leia, would they have super babies?

No sleep sucks.

Stupid Story 07-06-05

Person #1: I would like to read more about DVD authoring, but I am not sure where I can do that. Do you have any suggestions?

Person #2: In a book.

Stupid Story 07-05-05

CompUSA strikes again. I'm telling you. If I ever need something stupid to write about, 5 minutes in this store has plenty.

While waiting in line at the register, there are two old ladies behind me looking at the games on the shelf. In particular, they were talking about "Stronghold 2".

Person #1: Oh, this game is horrible. That man on the cover looks evil.
Person #2: He looks like the devil.
Person #1: I would never let my kids play a game like this.
Person #2: Me either... and they are better off for it too.
Person #1: They are lucky they us to look out for them.
Person #2: I mean... it looks like Holloween or something.

This conversation drags on while we wait in line.

Person #1: Where is everybody?
Person #2: I know... all these customers in line, and they only have one girl at the register open.
Person #1: Look, all those other employees are just standing around over there. You would think they might come over here and help her.
Person #2: Kids of today... no teamwork.

Now, you know I am just standing there getting a kick out of them talking right? I get up to the register and she scans my stuff. (BTW - They moved those obnoxious monitors. Guess I wasn't the only one to complain about them) So, I run my card through and it says "cannot read card" so I scan it again. It says "cannot read card". So, I spin it around and try the other way and nothing happens. The girl behind the register (Who was watching me) says "You have to put it in the other way". I reply with "Been there, done that, and it obviously didn't work". The old bags behind me giggle. Shocking.

As one last insult to injury, it starts to print my receipt then runs out of tape. She informs me that it ran out of tape, and she must get more. I told her to go get the tape and when she is ready, i will be in my car waiting. So I left, mumbling about how if I want stupid, I need to go to CompUSA, and if I didn't get enough, I could always stop at Best Buy and fill up there, as well.

Stupid Story 07-04-05

Person #1: Did you see that guy? He... oh wait... that was a woman.

Stupid Story 07-04-05

Person #1: I don't like your steering wheel.
Person #2: Why? What's wrong with it?
Person #1: It's sticky.
Person #2: Oh yeah... well, it doesn't really bother me. I don't use it that much.

Stupid Story 07-04-05

Even I belong on this website once and a while.... I was emptying a load of laundry, and at the bottom of the basin was my cell phone. Apparently, It did not survive. Funeral Services will be held tomorrow during lunch, when I stop at the local phone store to buy a new one.