Stupid Story 12-21-05

So she says to me "I will do anything you want me to. Just tell me what you want. What is your fantasy? ."So I tell her, and she says "I'm not going to do that!"

Stupid Picture 12-20-05

The front cover had a picture of just the Roman and the young boy... He was screaming because he knows what Romans did to young boys. On the inside pages, they had another ad including the woman... who also happened to be screaming in terror for her child. As for the Roman? Just look at that sly smile he has going on. I know what he wants. You know what he wants. The mother and child knows what he wants... To hell with Disney, I'm gonna take my kids to the Holy Land!

Stupid Picture 12-20-05

This one was my favorite ad. "Take the controls of a classic whirlybird...$20.00 off the in-flight video." What (dare I ask) could the video possibly be? My best guess, was that it was fight instructions on how to land. I figure, at that point, they could ask pretty much whatever they wanted for that video.

Stupid Picture 12-20-05

$10.00 OFF? How much do they think I am actually willing to pay for one lousy 30 second ride?

Stupid Picture 12-20-05

Holy Fuck!?! HOW desperate do I look? I mean, fucking seriously. I make a really sweet salery, own a house, don't owe any credit companies, and this is how I am repaid for living my life with a cash only policy? Bah... they can all just blow me.

Stupid Story 12-13-05

Person #1: See, all you have to do, is bang it on the side.
Person #2: Yeah, I do that to my wife.

Stupid Story 12-09-05

Holiday Card:

"Best wishes to you, and yours. Please have a safe Holiday and have a Happy New York!"

Stupid Story 12-09-05

Imaginary screenshot goes here:

"Acrobat 5 Reader is your default PDF reader. Would you like to make Acrobat 5 Reader the default PDF reader?"

Umm... sure.... no, wait... er... lemme think a second...

Stupid Story 12-09-05

This was on directions for a printing job:

White is a representation of "White Ink" showing through. This is NOT an ink.

Huh?